Last weekend, my family went through this Filipino wedding tradition, pamamanhikan.

According to Wikipilipinas, PAMAMANHIKAN means:

The groom is expected to speak to the parents of his intended about his intentions, then his parents as well must call on the bride's parents to gain their approval and to plan the wedding, a practice called pamamanhikan. This custom appears to have been established by the Philippine pre-colonial Malayan forebears.
It is traditional for the groom's parents to pay all the wedding expenses, though some couples now pay for their own wedding. The bride's parents may also offer to assist. These arrangements can be discussed during the pamamanhikan.

My brother formally asked for the hand of his fiancée for marriage from her parents and family. My immediate family was there as well as all my brother's best friend and the living siblings of my mother and deceased father. Both sides of the family were well represented. Really sad I missed it as I have never been to one.  

I love what pamamanhikan stands for. It shows respect for the lady the man is intending to marry and to her family as well. It is no easy task as the man will bravely face the overly protective parents of his fiancée to ask for her hand in marriage and to assure the woman's family, together with his own family, that she will be taken care of.

The pamamanhikan took place mid-afternoon so my family brought snack for my future sister-in-law's family. I really appreciate how she sent me photos as the pamamanhikan was going on. I particularly was envious of the food they got to eat.

In this modern age, you'd think pamamanhikan is a dead tradition. I'm afraid not. There is one friend whose fiancé came alone as his family lived abroad. He had to go through the pamamanhikan on his own. Hats off to the guy for bravely facing my friend's family, especially the father. Another friend who was abroad attended her own pamamanhikan via Skype. Her fiancé proceeded with asking her hand in marriage even if she was not around physically. What a sweet and thoughtful gesture.

I love Filipino customs and traditions that show respect to one's parents such as pamamanhikan, the use of "po" and "opo" when talking to older people and the "mano po" greeting. And I intend to pass these on to Javi and our future child or children. As a parent, I am responsible of teaching him/them about his Filipino heritage.

So proud of my brother for going through the pamamanhikan. I can't help but think what my father would say if he had been there. Makes me miss his presence so much.

What other Filipino customs and tradition would you want to pass on to your children?
post signature


  1. Congratulations to your Brother irms! Kami din we followed this tradition even with the kinds of food na dadalhin ni T :). Natakam ako sa photos, yum!

  2. Thanks Em! Nainggit ako sa food. Hahaha!


Blogging tips