Dating Advice for Young & Single Ladies

There is this urge for me to write addressing single ladies. My heart bleeds for women who are in bad relationships. I know God definitely has someone better for them. The longer they stay in a relationship with the wrong person, they are clearly missing the opportunity to meet the right person for them.

While I am clearly not an expert in this area, I have had my heart broken a number of times. I know how it feels to get hurt, to be left alone in thin air. I had days when I couldn't go to work as I could not think clearly. There came a point when I thought Mr. Right would never have found his way to me.

I borrowed my friend's prayer asking God that the next man I meet would be THE one, if not then please do not send any man my way as I did not want to get over a broken heart again. At the beginning of year 2003, I declared out loud at work that year I would meet Mr. Right. True enough, Jed and I started dating 3rd quarter of the year.

God is truly good and amazing. He had the right person for me.

As I deepen my walk with God, I realized that if I knew the things I know now and I have this relationship with Him, my heart would not have been broken that much. But God has a purpose for every single thing that happens to our lives, right?

My values were twisted then. My idea of a perfect relationship was based on Sex & The City. Thinking about those times make me cringe now. I was admiring the relationship of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie when all along I should have been rooting for Team Jennifer. Up to this day, after three biological children, Brad and Angelina are still not married.

I just want to share a number of great insights and relationship advices from brilliant and godly individuals whose blogs I follow.

The best dating advice --

The greatest advice I can give is this:

The way a man loves God is the way he will love you.

The way a woman loves God is the way she will love you.

from Bianca Juarez, The Best Dating Advice

When you're dating the wrong person --

#3 – If you are always defending him/her to the people who know me, love me and love Jesus. (Love is blind…and many times you cannot see the blind spots that others can see so clearly.)

#4 – If you find yourself not wanting to talk about him/her in front of the people in your life that you know may disapprove of the relationship for some reason. (Because…when this happens you are choosing to ignore what the Lord could be trying to make obvious through others because you are too involved emotionally to make a rational decision.)

#10 – If the Lord has specifically spoken to you and instructed you to end the relationship but you can’t/won’t because you either “don’t want to hurt them” or you fear that if you end this relationship then you won’t have another chance at one.

from Perry Noble, 10 Reasons I Should Not Be Dating Him/Her

How to find out if your relationship is in trouble?

  1. You Are Not Spiritually Compatible.
  2. You Have To Continually Defend The Relationship–Especially To Those Who Love You.
  3. PDA
  4. Sex IS The Relationship
  5. You Hope That Marriage Will Change The Person. (this is the biggest LIE)
  6. You Find Yourself Trying To Bargain With God.

from Perry Noble, Six Signs The Dating Relationship Is In Trouble...

Women, please let the man pursue you.

You deserve it. Think of Bella in Twilight being pursued by Jacob and Edward.

#3 – Be Focused

I say this a lot when talking to single ladies…but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not settle.

The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to do more than we could ever imagine…that’s HUGE!

I have seen WAY too many ladies settle, hoping that they could “fix the dude up!” Ladies–God didn’t call you to fix him…only Christ can do that.

If you are in Christ then you are the King’s daughter…and you do not need to settle for the boy who can’t accept responsibility…you need to wait for the man who is WILLING to fight for your heart.

from Perry Noble, How To Be Pursued By A Guy

Still waiting for Mr. Right?

4) Celebrate the moments of “loneliness.” Trust me, when you start having a serious and committed relationship, and you begin a family and take on other things on the side — that alone time can be a luxury.

from Liz Claudio (Guest Post from Samantha Johnson) Things I Wish I Learned When I Was Single

This one is absolutely true. Right now, I dream of alone/ME time as I rarely have those anymore. Gone are those days when I can do absolutely anything I want when I want to.

How many times do I need to remind you that you deserve the best?

2. Aim for excellence. If you realize that God is with you then you will not settle for anything less than the best. If you realize as well that in everything that you do (how you work, how you speak, how you dress up, how you handle your money and time, etc), you do it unto God, it should change the way you do things.

from Anna Moran, (For) All The Single Ladies- Part One

6. Wait for God’s best for you. BELIEVE ME, HE EXISTS. I may have done many mistakes in the past but I am so thankful that I waited for JA and that I did not settle for anything less. When he comes, you will know. There is no formula to knowing it, but, I need and beg you to have two non-negotiables: He must love and fear God & He must love, honor and respect you.

What if he's married?

1) Perhaps the most common reason that everyone uses for getting involved extra-marital affairs is that the husband has been sexually and emotionally suffering in his marriage for a long time. "They have been having serious problems before I even came along," you say to yourself. Therefore, you cannot possibly be responsible for a marriage that falls apart.

My friend, while it is true that the marriage has probably been going through a lot of problems before you came along, you are taking away that crucial opportunity for the husband and wife to have no choice but to cling to God so that He may perform miracles on their marriage. It is never your job nor your place to be the source of the solution.

from Samantha Johnson, You Love Him But He's Married

I am so blessed to have married a man who is committed to following Christ. I grew up believing men are polygamous, easily tempted and at one point in our marriage, he is bound to cheat on me.

And this is why it is important to find a man who loves God. Someone who will put your needs above his. Someone who will love you the way Christ loves the church.

Ladies, do not even doubt that you deserve any less.

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