Invest In Your Marriage (Small Change #10)

The very first small group I attended talked about this small change. I totally enjoyed our discussion and I learned so much. I was still a newlywed then; that was three years ago.

So much has changed since then. I am no longer an office worker. Jed and I are now parents. We are living in Bangkok.

After moving to two cities and a baby, all I can say is life was simpler then.

I am struggling with being a wife and a mother. It is easy to neglect the husband and focus on the baby. However, it should not end up that way.

My priority is Jed over Javi. PERIOD.

I have heard of stories that after being married for a number of years, the romance is gone and the relationship with one's spouse is more of a friend. I was horrified. I wouldn't want that. I'd still want to be in love with my husband until we are old and grey. I would want to keep on holding hands with him. I want to be able to talk to him about everything under the sun.

I am grateful I have a mother who constantly reminds me to put Jed first. At first, it was annoying then I learned to appreciate my mother's advice.

I also have a wonderful spiritual family who teaches us what a wife and husband should be. Jed and I even get to go on dates now as they offer to look after Javi. I truly believe God led us to the most awesome church. We each will have our own small groups to teach us to become better husbands and wives. It is also good to be surrounded by married friends/couples who are in the same faith.

My prayer is to make "date nights" a regular thing. Right now, only God can help us find ways for date nights to actually take place. Regular date nights are essential to a marriage. Come to think of it, when the children are all grown up and you only have your husband or your wife, you wouldn't want them to feel like a stranger, right?

Interested in what Elizabeth George has to say on how to improve one's marriage?

Her ten keys to a better marriage go:

  1. Work as a team.
  2. Learn to communicate.
  3. Enjoy intimacy.
  4. Manage your money.
  5. Keep up the home.
  6. Raise your children.
  7. Make time for fun.
  8. Serve the Lord.
  9. Reach out to others.
  10. Grow in the Lord.

Sam, my small group leader then, e-mailed us this note (which I still kept to this very day) about this small change which she quoted from Elizabeth George's book.

Guard against anything that would divide you as a couple.
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5-6)
Concentrate on helping your husband.
"And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." (Genesis 2:18)
Whatever you do, do with a team mentality.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
Make sure everyone knows how much you love your husband.
"Let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)
Keep the fire of passion burning.
"Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband." (I Corinthians 7:3)

What has also been helping me is New Spring Church's sermon series, Man vs Wife.

A good marriage takes a lot of work.

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1 comment:

  1. This is so inspiring irms!
    Guess what, I am a secret lurker of Sam's blog hee hee :). She just inspires me.


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