Ah... Motherhood

I am not in the habit of reposting statuses in Facebook. But this particular one had been going around for a while now and it definitely caught my eye. For me, the status is blog worthy. It goes --

To all the unselfish Mom's out there who traded eye liner for dark circles,

salon haircuts for pony tails, long showers for quick showers,

late nights for early mornings, designer bags for diaper bags, and wouldn't change a thing.

Let's see how many Mom's post this.

Mom's who don't care about whatever they gave up and instead LOVE what they got in return.

Post this if you LOVE your life as a Mom.

It put to words what I had been feeling for a couple of weeks now. I was a bit depressed. Raising a child is tough. Having no one helping you (around the house) is tougher. I am one crazy woman for trying to do everything. It is frustrating. Especially when I want to accomplish so much but can't.

I hardly can finish an e-mail message as my son would be needing my attention. It has become more difficult to give my full attention to something other than Javi. While I am looking after him, I cannot help but think about all these things I wanted to finish. I do multi task but when you have a very active soon-to-be eleven month old son, it is challenging.

What would life be without Javi?

I probably would be very fit working out five times a week. The house would be cleaner and more in order. Jed would be eating decent meals every single day. I would have been working on my dream job or started my own business venture with my close friends. I would have been a famous blogger by now. Ha!! And I would have time for hobbies. Oh and I would be traveling and ticking off my lists of places to visit.

But would I be happy?

I don't believe so.

For now life is waking up early and sleeping late. No sleeping in. I can only cook simple meals with very few ingredients. I break my chores into 10 minute tasks so I could go back to taking care of my little boy. Ponytails work for now.

And what do I get in return?
A smile as soon as he wakes up in the morning. I get to kiss and hug him unlimited times. I get to hear him say, "Mama" and would point to me. I don't miss a single thing - first tooth, first crawl, first word, first attempt at standing, and so on. He surprises me with a kiss and a hug. He knows when I am sad and he has a way of cheering me up.

No amount of money can give me this joy.

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