Friendship Through the Eyes of My Cosmic Sister

In her October 29th LJ entry, my dearest Cheryl wrote on her thoughts about FRIENDSHIP. We call each other "cosmic sisters"as most of the time we understand each others thoughts and feelings without ever needing to explain or defend (defend? Bakit may kaso?) ourselves There would be times when we just think/do/say the exact same thing at the exact same time. We're a couple of freaks.

Anyway, here are excerpts of her blog entry--
it's easy to get lost in a maze of 10 million different people you come across with, especially as you get more mature, as you move around, but as long as you know what's real and what's true, there's no way you can hide that. even when you've decided to shut yourself out of people, afraid of getting hurt or disappointed, you'll be surprised at how friendships grow. people reveal themselves at the most unexpected situations. for example, i admire those who prove their integrity and sincerity even when everything else around them is just wrong. isn't that what integrity is all about? doing what's right EVEN when (especially WHEN) no one's watching. or for instance those who share their time, what they know, or themselves in the midst of a demanding work environment.
I have met most of my very good friends through unexpected and most surprising ways. There was no need to exert any effort nor pretend to be someone better. The friendship simply grows. I especially am endeared to those take the time, out of their very busy schedule to be available for me, or just simply be thoughtful.
thinking about the friendships i've made, i am totally pleased and content. there are more people i am only getting to know, and maybe it'll end there or maybe we'll grow to be better, closer friends. but what's important is that they are around me because they've seen through me at some point. and they liked what they see. no pretentions, no hidden agenda. that's how relationships transcend into friendships. perhaps this is one of the reasons why i'm not the friendliest person on me kasi i make a conscious effort to take care of the friendships i make. i give it my time, eh i have so little of it na nga!
I have shared with my husband and with Cheryl how happy I am with the friends I have now that even if I don't find new friends in Cebu, I would be okay. I don't want to say I do not need new friends as that comes across as a very snotty remark. What I mean is I am contented with the friends I have now, that there's no reason for me to look for new ones.

I laughed aloud when I read about making a conscious effort to keep a friendship. It should come out naturally. One's busy schedule should not be a hindrance to stop spending time together. One makes time for those they love, right?
so think about it...are you too concerned about yourself, so focused on your own problems that everything is about you? how much of your time do you give to the people you'd wanna run to in times of need? get real, in that you cannot expect to receive from others what you cannot give of yourself.
Her words are exactly what I want to say. See, she put my thoughts into words.

A friendship is a two-way street. If only one person makes all the effort, it's not going to work nor will it last.

Just recently, I feel sad about a colleague who died yesterday. We worked on several work events in the past. And I enjoy every minute working with him. I grew very fond of him. He's someone I would run the extra mile for. Even if my stupid feet was killing me at the Food & Hotel show in Singapore, I walked over to the USDA hall when I learned he also flew for the event. I adjusted my schedule to visit him in the ICU, and found ways to get to his wake, to pay my last respect.

Some people are just worth the extra mile.

In last night's small group, our topic was Overcoming Offense. As I learned more about the cause and effect of offenses, I felt a sharp object pricked my heart. I realized how I get offended easily. And when the offense is caused by people I most care for, I sadly hold grudges. Worst case would be for me to think the person does not exist. My rationale is if we no longer have the same interests or share the same views then our friendship might as well fall apart. I hate when I need to explain myself a lot when I know I do not need to. Yes, I may not share your current views but I am allowed to have my own opinion and beliefs. Yes, I may have changed my perspective about life but it does not mean that we need to grow apart.

That is when I realized that there are friendships worth keeping. I need to give myself time to heal a little and then I will do what I can to save the friendship. If that does not work, and my effort cannot enough to save the friendship then I am happy to have tried my best.

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