Light at the End of the Tunnel

I actually survived. Borrowing the tag line of the reality show Survivor, I was outlasted, outwitted, and outplayed by the boss.

But the team made it 'til the end -- after enduring four long years.

For me, she was a Miranda Priestley wanna-be. The character in Lauren Weisberger's book reminded me so much of the boss. Why a wanna-be? Well, the boss was not as fabulous as Meryll Streep or the Miranda character. And for me, the boss did not redeem herself in the end.

In the four years of having her as the boss --
  • I lost my bestfriend at work to a fantastic job at the ADB.
  • A good friend was just too happy to have finished his posting in Manila. We actually became very close because of the boss.
  • There were four pregnancies.
  • Sick leaves were used (and abused). We're talking about months here, and not mere days or weeks.
  • I dreaded traveling -- with her! We had two international and several domestic trips together. I was the luckiest (NOT!) of them all to have traveled ALONE with her on a number of occasions.
  • My supervisor almost resigned at the last minute. I would've done the same thing, if he had resigned.
  • I had nightmares about her. I just had one last night.
  • While organizing the Cook-Off and Charity Dinner, my supervisor and I experienced sleepless nights. After the event, I slept for three days, and that was not enough.
  • I compromised my principles into doing tasks the way the boss wanted it done. And that's why she never gained my trust.
Her marvelous team at the office pulled off impossible projects after another. It's a realization for me at how good we are.

When she left, I felt relieved and liberated. I do not need to prove myself to anyone anymore. I feel like I've reached the peak, now I'm ready to descend.

The trauma of the four years will last longer than I'd like to. How can one explain the dream I had last night? Why is it still haunting me?

One day, I will forgive her. I should not have this much hatred and bitterness in my life.

It will come.. I just don't know when.

But for now, I am standing at the end of the tunnel -- smiling!

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