Tales of a New Wife

Jed and I have been married for three months. I know I am still part of the new wives club. A number of my girlfriends belong to this imaginary club. It takes comfort that I have friends who are going through the same experience as I am, and that I can count on them for advices.

When I get asked how it is to be newly married, I answer it with, "Masarap na mahirap." It truly is enjoyable but challenging. And that explains why I did not rush into getting married.

I have been used to looking after my own needs for most of my life. I have (had) a set of parents who provided me with everything I could possibly need even before asking for it. I am also accustomed to so much personal space.

It was difficult adjusting during the first couple of weeks. It helped that I had a support group (aka newlywed girlfriends) and they let me know how married life is. Without sugar coating. This is something I appreciate as the honeymoon period will not last long.

I love being married to Jed. I am pleased to be taking care of him and looking after his needs. Oh, I am a work in progress.

I now have to deal with real domestic issues. My hats off to career women running their own household. They deserve to be referred to as "superwoman." My friend Tammy (who is a newlywed herself) gave me a copy of The Nest Newlywed Handbook during my bridal shower. I could not thank her enough at how helpful the book had been.

I learned that while I was in control of my life before, the situation is much different now. I suddenly had to manage a household. I do have to cook for my husband and myself. I absolutely have no problem working on household chores, I just do not how to iron clothes. I should have learned from our trusty plantsadora in Bulacan. Household chores pile up, and I find myself overwhelmed especially during the first month.

Unsolicited advices poured in from my own mother, friends, colleagues, and those who wanted to share their two cents worth. Instead of helping me, it confused me all the more as the advices contradict themselves. For a time, it was a source of frustration for me following each advice.

Finally, I learned to follow what I believe is best for Jed and myself. I will take care of him the best way I know how. And when I did just that, I was happily preparing meals for my husband and I figured out how to efficiently work on household chores. Eventually, I ended up with more time for myself. I was happier, and Jed saw how well I adjusted and I am still adjusting.

Jed and I are going through some tough time right now. My father-in-law got into an accident in Bacolod City where he resides. He is suffering from
diffuse axonal injury. He has not woken up since the accident except when he would open his eyes for couple of seconds. We assumed he is comatose until his doctor clarified that the state he is in now, unconscious and significantly impaired, is how he will be should he wake up.

It is difficult. More patience and understanding are required from me. His family is now my family, too.

There is still so much to learn and I am a work in progress. Well, I happily take on the task of a wife. And I will blog more about my adventures in the next few days, weeks, and months.

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